Culinarywoman Exclusive: So God Made A Cook

If you were watching the Super Bowl earlier this month, your ears might have pricked up at the ad featuring Paul Harvey, the legendary broadcaster. The commercial, for the Ram pickup, used Harvey’s speech, “So God Made A Farmer.”

My friend Ed Garsten, who you might remember from his days reporting for CNN, is a member of the communications staff at Chrysler, which owns Ram. This week, he was stuck in Orlando waiting to fly home to Detroit. He and I corresponded on Facebook, and I convinced him to write a version just for CulinaryWoman.

He calls it, “So God Made A Cook.”

I got a little teary eyed reading it. And I laughed, too. It’s a nice tribute to those of us who find satisfaction in the kitchen (or in eating). Here is our CulinaryWoman exclusive.

So God Made A Cook, By Ed Garsten

And on the 8th day, God had a hankering for foie gras and a tablespoon of wisdom.
So God made a cook.
He looked upon the college dorms where students subsisted on Pop Tarts, ramen and Tang.
So God made a cook.
He gazed across the land and saw the grain, the greens and tubers and legumes and wondered who could possibly turn them into breakfast, lunch and dinner, with taste, and imagination.
So God make a cook.
After Moses complained that manna was kinda bland, and could He possibly mix it up a little with some bruschetta, there was consternation and a pinch of disdain.
So God made a cook.
He noticed a disturbing trend, coming from California of course, of using items such as crystals and karma as appetizers at ridiculously high-priced Malibu restaurants. This must be corrected.
So God made a cook.
At a particularly unfortunate church dinner in 32 A.D. where the well-meaning congregants offered the first known cans of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee Beefaroni as a main dish, He despaired.
So God made a cook.
He found Himself staying up at night struggling with the issue of what to do with the names Julia and the even more troubling, Emeril.
So God made a cook.
In the end He decided the world needed a class of human that could emulate His creativity by transforming simple food into wondrous dishes through precise measurement, proportion, timing and knowing when to pop it out of the oven.
So God made a cook.